Friday, August 21, 2009

Lame

Because I'm lame and I have nothing to blog about, I'm going to post a funny mass email I got yesterday from my co-worker. I deleted all of it except for the lines I think are really funny. I colored my comments. If you're bored enough to read this or just need a good laugh, I hope you enjoy it. Oh and there's a link at the very bottom regarding New Moon if you don't get that far.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Original Line: I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

My Line: I think part of a co-worker friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you are fired.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text (or my makeup on my way to work).

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. When I wrote obits, I used to wish they'd include the cause of death every day.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. And it's only going to get worse (for me) from here on out.

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. My co-worker's computer is possessed (I swear it is) and Word does this to her all the time. She always freaks out. It's hilarious.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
----
And the only other thing I can think to blog about is that I saw a newly released New Moon trailer yesterday. It's the first time I got excited about the movie. Unfortunately, I think I might actually be on Team Jacob when I watch the movie. I just don't care for Rob (as Edward).

http://team-twilight.com/20090817/moon-trailer-officially-released/

5 comments:

Thanaglim said...

I loved those, too funny.

I especially liked Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

That's why I like digital.

Kristin Tice said...

Most of those are so true. I mean for real....how did we all know to blow in the nintendo games???

Anonymous said...

Those are so cute! I can relate to so many of them! The mario kart one so applies to Richard. Can we say obsessed? You need to be blogging about your baby showers and stuff like that!
Val

Debbie said...

haha.. I am soo bad at using 'as in' examples over the phone, and I love the mario kart one.

Thanks for posting the new New Moon trailer. I am all about Team Jacob!

Anonymous said...

I will add one more to the list.
How come everytime someone mentions something about the twilight series, it makes me less interested in reading one word or watching one minute? I'm just sayin! Can't wait to meet the little cheese!

Richard